sample consequences for teenagers

Sample Consequences for Middle Schoolers Sample Consequences for Teenagers

More consequences that work

1.Money fines
2.Extra chores
3.Lose cell phone privileges
4.Lose computer privileges
5.Lose T.V. privileges
6.Lose car privileges
7.Lose time with friends privileges

Consequences that are Too Harsh for a first time infraction

1.Grounded for a week
2.Grounded for a week

3.Grounded for a week
4.Grounded for a month
5.No T.V./computer for a week

6.No T.V. for a week
7.No T.V. for a week

8.Grounded for a month

9.Grounded for a month

10. No T.V for a week

11. No computer for a month
12. No computer for a month

13. Lose computer for a week

14.Lose computer for a week

15.Lose computer for a week

16.Grounded for one month
17.Grounded for one month

These consequences are excessive for first time offense, but are just about right for repeat offenders. Just keep ratcheting up the consequences until you find the one that makes them stop. Perhaps the following would have more bite...

Consequences that are about right for a broken rule for a first time infraction

1.Home late--must come home 30 minutes earlier the next time
2.Didn’t call parents when late or went someplace else-- must come home 30 minutes earlier the next time
3.Didn’t ask permission before going out can’t go out for a day
4.Went place not allowed to go--can’t go out for a week
5.Spent more than allowed time on T.V./computer--Lose T.V./Computer privileges for a day
6.Watched unapproved T.V. show--lose T.V. privilege for 1 day
7.Didn’t turn off the show that got violent or had sexual content--Lose T.V./Computer privileges for a day
8.Didn’t get permission before watching a movie at a friend’s house--can’t go to friend’s house for a week
9.Played violent video games at a friend’s house----can’t go to friend’s house for a week
10.Watched T.V. before homework was done --lose T.V. privilege for 1 day
11.Got on line in own room--lose computer privilege for 1 week
12.Visited questionable websites --lose computer privilege for 1 week
13.Got on line before or during homework--lose computer privilege for 1 day
14. Spent excessive time on computer--lose computer privilege for 1 day
15.Didn’t work out a daily schedule so each person gets equal access--lose computer privilege for 1 day
16.Dated before allowed age--see below
17.Kissed special friend--lose dating privilege for 2 weeks (including texting, facebook, etc.) For a second infraction, lose the above privileges for a month. For a third infraction, the relationship should be terminated--your child is not ready to date yet. You can only control what you monitor--do this without shame. God gave you the authority.

Too Harsh

Too Lenient

Just Right

Parenting > Discipline > Sample Consequences for Teenagers

Sometimes life is so hectic that it is easier for parents to have one consequence for all infractions, such as a fine, rather than having dozens of different consequences. The greater the infraction, the greater the fine.

Parenting > Discipline > Sample Consequences for Teenagers

The most important thing for making rules stick, is to have consequences that make teens stop dead in their tracks. If you are afraid of making them mad, then you are going to have a hard time making consequences that are tough enough--that they don’t like. Of course they will get mad--no one likes to be told that what they are doing is not good, or that they can’t do what they want to do. Just because they get mad doesn’t mean they stop loving you. They do get over it eventually, and when they get older, they realize that the rules and consequences were actually helping them. They probably won’t be able to admit that they appreciate those limits they fought against until they have kids of their own, though. Teens have a pretty bad track record of making those hard decisions in the clutch, and that is when parents need to be the backbone for them. Be tough for them until they have the discipline to be tough on their own. So when you are coming up with consequences, the important thing is to make it strict enough to make the child think, “Wait a minute. Do I really want that to happen?” Of course, if you have been teaching them to obey since they were small, these teen years may be so easy that it doesn’t even seem like there are any rules because nobody fights against them. That’s the way it was for us. I know our kids got mad at us sometimes, I just don’t remember it, since it didn’t happen very often.

Numbers 16 and 17 are both tough ones to know how to handle!! Since they already like each other, if you forbid them from ever talking to each other again, it is likely to make them be sneaky, rather than actually help them follow the rules. So how about trying this: invite the friend over for a friendly talk. That should strike fear in the heart of the special friend and mortify your child!! (If he refuses to come, then the relationship should be terminated, since he is unwilling to play by your rules.) Explain the rules, and say that as long as they are in a group setting, they can talk, whether it is at school or in the home, but must not be done alone with just the two of them until the specified age. They can still be friends, just not special friends. If any of the outlined rules are broken, your child will have to discontinue the relationship. This makes sure all parties are aware of the rules, and gives them another chance to follow them. This can help them understand that you are not against them, but that you mean business about the rules. If you really mean business, it is important to also limit phone, texting, instant messaging, and facebook, or the “no dating policy” doesn’t really mean anything. You can only control what you monitor--do this without shame. God gave you the authority.

Consequences that are Too Lenient

The main problem with “too lenient” is not so much that the consequences are so light that the teens don’t bother to listen, but more often it is the case that the parents respond to broken rules with words rather than action. No matter how dire the threats are, unless they are followed through with action, nobody moves an inch. Parents say things like:

1.“Don’t make me say it again.”
2.“How many times have I told you...”
3.“Don’t let it happen again.”
4.“If you don’t do it, I’m going to...”
5.“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times...”

Your teens are good students of you. They know just what decibel level your voice reaches before they have to start moving in order to avoid a confrontation. To borrow from the saying, “A picture is worth a thousand words,” here is a new phrase: A consequence is worth a thousand words!

A Cautionary Tale

My friend is so worried about her nephew--he stays up late playing video games and doing who knows what on the internet. Then he sleeps in late and often skips school. My friend is so worried about what is going to happen to this poor boy--he has no friends, and he is probably not going to finish high school, so how is he going to get a job? He has no rules or consequences, so how is he going to learn to control his gaming addiction enough to take on the responsibilities required as an adult-- to hold a job and keep a home, let alone to be a husband and father. So my friend worries, because she can see the problem, but cannot convince her sister-in-law there is a problem.

Even if your son does not have such an extreme addiction to video games, I beg you to set limits on the time he can spend playing them every day, and also set limits for the kinds of games he can play. Don’t hand over your parental authority to your child by caving into his demands to be allowed to play as long as he wants or to play what ever he wants. He needs you be strong and wise while he is too young and foolish to understand the ramifications of what this will lead to. He needs you to limit his time on video games and the internet so that he not only learns discipline so he can limit these fun things on his own, but also, so that he has the time necessary to learn to have relationships with real people, and learn to take the responsibilities of living life. Your future daughter-in-law will bless you! If you think he will naturally become a responsible adult, don’t get your hopes up--I saw a reality show where the mom took food to her husband and son in their respective rooms because they wouldn’t come out of their rooms to eat!!

This does not even begin to touch on the dangers of internet porn or chat rooms or bullying on facebook, twitter, or text messages. The possible problems from technology are myriad and mind boggling. As parents we must be ever vigilant and ever learning new technology in order to protect our young people, and at the same time, ever teaching our teens about what the world is really like and how to stay safe. Ultimately, God is the only one who can protect them and give them the strength to remain pure, and they need to hear that from you. Sometimes it helps to tell about your own mistakes as a teenager. Always keep the communication lines open--that means talking when they are available and feel like talking, which can be at the most inconvenient times. It also means making up excuses to spend time with them so that they can naturally tell you what is on their minds. If you do this well, in a few short years, they will be thriving adults who also happen to be your best friends!

Covenant Eyes is one website that helps you keep your family safe on the internet.

Their site says, “Internet Safety, Online Integrity, Accountability and filtering helps you protect your family on line.”

http://www.covenanteyes.com/