sample consequences for kindergarteners

Consequences that are Too Lenient say things like...

1.“Don’t make me say it again.”
2.“Say you are sorry.”
3.“Say you are sorry.”
4.Parent replaces broken item
5.“How many times have I told you...”
6.“Don’t let it happen again.”

Consequences that are Too Harsh

1.Do chores for an hour
2.Kick or bite to show what it feels like
3.No friends come over for a month
4.No allowance for a month
5.Throw away all the toys
6.No T.V. for a week or month

Consequences that are about right for a broken rule

1.Disobey parents--Time out for 4 or 5 minutes or an extra chore
2.Hurt other people--time out and lose 1 allowance
3.Hurt people with words--time out
4.Break things--Pay 2 week’s allowance or work 2 extra chores
5.Don’t put away toys--lose toy privileges for half a day
6.Watch more than 30 min. of T.V. in a day--lose T.V. watching privileges for a day

Kindergarten age (4 and 5 years old) is a key time to solidify the obedience training that you began when your child was 2 and 3 years old. This is SO important because the later you wait to make them obey, the harder it is. Now is when you really need to nip rebellion or defiance in the bud. If you tell your child to do something and he looks at you and does the opposite, or just continues to do what he was doing, you have a problem. Children will periodically test the limits you set and test your resolve for no other reason than to see what they can get away with. This is a time that you need to remain firm until your child obeys. If he does it in spite of being punished, keep adding to the punishment until he complies. For example, if one time out is not enough, a second one or third one may be needed. If time outs aren’t doing the trick, try removing other privileges one at a time...losing T.V. watching privileges for a day, going to bed early, not having a friend come over, not going on a family outing (which you may need to plan for the purpose of teaching your child obedience!) etc. etc. Do you need to adjust your consequences so they are just right?

A cautionary tale

A mother told me that she told her third grade son to brush his teeth and put away his video game controller before he left for school. This boy was already taller than his mother, and was taking Karate lessons. He went out to meet his friends to walk to school and she went out after him to tell him he had to brush his teeth and put away the controls first. He went inside with her and proceeded to beat her up and when she left the apartment to get away, he locked her out of the apartment. She went to a friend’s house to call him on the phone to tell him that he needed to let her back in so that she could call the school to tell them that he would be late for school. So she was able to convince him to let her back in, and she called the school, and walked him to the school, then went to the hospital to get an X-ray to see if she had any broken bones. When her son got home from school that day, she showed him the doctor’s bill, but he just shrugged, and said, “So?” He told his mother that he did’t need her, and proceeded to make his own supper and breakfast the next morning.

Tell me who was winning THAT battle! Do NOT wait to teach your child obedience, no matter how hard it may seem now. Win this battle when your child is still smaller than you, and when he is bigger than you, you can tell him to brush his teeth and put his video controller away, and he will do it!