Ways to fix up your bedroom for romance

Raise your Romance Quotient by Adding a Few of These Things to your Bedroom

1.A lock on the door--yes you can, even in Japan--our door has one. If you have sliding doors, a tension rod on the top of both sides should work fine when they are small, and they should know to knock before entering by the time they get old enough to be able to reach the tension rod. But if not, use a nail, and just don’t open that side, and keep the tension rod on the inside.
2. low lights--candles can be romantic, but they will not always be attended, so I prefer something electric--a lamp with a dimmer switch, or a string of Christmas lights, etc.
3. Satin sheets--these are not a necessity, but they can make going to bed feel luxurious.
4. Net canopy--we put ours up for special occasions, so no one knows we have one
5. Something to play music--it can be very soothing to have music that you both enjoy playing.
6. Decorate with photos of fun times together--good reminders of good times help strengthen the bond
7. Decorate with gifts or cards that you have given each other--good reminders of love expressed
8. A drawer full of negliges--buy a new one each year, and the collection grows. Be sure to wear them!
9. A double bed (Queen or King sizes are really nice if yo can afford it, and if it will fit in your room)
10. Decorate with matching bedspread and curtains, if you can afford it. This is one of the best ways to make the room look inviting. link to website with decorating ideas:
11. If you sleep on a futon on your living room floor, keep a basket on a high shelf, or a locked cupboard or drawer. Fill it with items that will help you feel romantic, and get it out often--electric candles, i-pod and speakers with romantic music, a book to read together, matching mugs or goblets to enjoy a beverage together, a notebook (to write each other messages, or write plans for things you have talked about, or memos about what the kids have done so you remember to tell him, or an agenda of things you need to talk about, etc, etc.,) and of course a collection of negliges! If you want to keep a close relationship with your husband, you have to be willing to think outside the box--come up with creative solutions to solve tricky problems. On the other hand, you can just give up and say, “that’s the way it is,” and do nothing, but you may one day find yourself wondering how you are going to cope when this stranger retires and is home all the time.

Things to remove from your room--no matter how nicely the room is decorated, these things can ruin the effect and make it very uninviting.

1.T.V.--this doesn’t look bad, but it can steal time that you have together--move it to another room
2. Clutter--your room will not look inviting if there is stuff piled everywhere--get rid of what you don’t use, and store what you do need in something that looks nice (if your closet and dressers are full, buy baskets or suitcases, or boxes with covers, or buy another dresser, or get rid of more stuff.)
3. Laundry--dirty or clean, it will make even the fanciest room look like a laundry mat. If this is the only room laundry can be in, clean it up before you go to bed.
4. Toys--if they are always lying around, get a basket to chuck them into.
5. Kids--this is the biggest problem--solve it as soon as possible, or you and your husband might find yourselves growing apart, and turning into strangers.

Hard Things You Need to Do (Decorating won’t help any if you don’t do these!!)

Your bedroom should be a place both you and your husband enjoy going together--where you can laugh and talk and feel safe and enjoy each other both emotionally and physically. But no matter how nice it looks, if you don’t take the following steps, it is going to be very difficult to have a close relationship with emotional and physical intimacy.

1.Children sleep in a separate room from the parents (see reasons below)
2. Children have a bed time set early enough that parents have time together alone
3. You take a nap during the day so you can stay up to be with your husband

Reasons Why children and babies should sleep in a separate room from parents

1.The younger they are, the easier it is for children to get used to sleeping alone-we moved our babies out as soon as they could sleep through the night. The surprising thing is, they go to sleep much faster than if you are there helping them go to sleep. Yes, the first few times they will cry themselves to sleep, but it only lasts a few minutes before they fall asleep. After a few times, they get used to it, and go to sleep without crying at all. So it may feel cruel for a few days, but after that, it is so easy!! After that, when it is time for a nap, you put them in the crib, walk away, and they just fall asleep in a few minutes without any crying. If you don’t do this, you spend many hours lying beside them trying to get them to go to sleep by patting, rubbing, singing, reading books. and they take forever to fall asleep, or they get up and start playing, even though you know they need a nap and will be cranky if they don’t. I had to do this method when we stayed with relatives for 6 months and they didn’t have a crib. My baby was a year and a half old, and it was SO much work to get her to go to sleep--3 times a day--morning nap, afternoon nap, and bedtime!! I was so glad that that was not the way I usually had to do it!! It is even harder to move children out of your bed when they are older if they have been sleeping with you all their lives. In their minds, it becomes the only way fall asleep, and they are quite old before they are willing to sleep in a separate room.

2.If you are worried that you won’t be able to your baby cry in the next room, buy a monitor. (When our monitor broke, I was going to buy a new one until I realized I could clearly hear our baby cry from anywhere in the house--this was in a 2 floor, 3 bedroom house. I realized that I didn’t need a new one.)
3.Your children are going to grow up and move away, but your husband is going to live with you the rest of your life, It will be a lot more fun if you stay good friends. That is going to be difficult if you don’t talk and spend time together, which is going to be nearly impossible if your children are sleeping with you every night from birth until late elementary age or beyond. If you want to stay close emotionally, your husband needs to be your priority, too.
4. If you concentrate on raising your children, and neglect your husband’s physical needs, it is going to be much easier for him to look for physical satisfaction outside of the marriage. If you want him to remain faithful to you, it is VITAL to meet his sexual needs. The Bible makes it clear that this is one of our duties in marriage in I Corinthians 7:1-5 “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

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